True Feminine Power
Falling in Silence – Rising in Love
I am a psychologist with a Master’s degree from the University of Louvain, Belgium, and a meditator for 27 years, living and working in Osho’s Meditation Resort in India. I was born in Colombia and left after high school to study in Europe, in a vain pursuit of knowledge and freedom.
After 10 years in the world of psychology, European culture, alternative therapies, dance, theatre, yoga and corporal expression, mainly in Belgium and France, my soul remained still unsatisfied till my destiny finally brought a light into my life: the enlightened master Osho,
the only master i know that has given women a real chance to be seekers, specially by pointing out WOMEN’S MAIN OBSTACLE TO FREEDOM:
“THE NEED TO BE NEEDED”
Voila a sharp Zen blow to our dreams and conditionings !
Osho also empowers woman by honoring our essential qualities, foreseeing a new world created with the feminine values ( in both men and woman ) a more compassionate,
peace-full, loving world.
Here i like to share my experiences as a women- meditator, a women- seeker.
To share how meditation is transforming my day to day life, bringing my energy from conditioning and bondage into freedom and creativity, from attachment and dreams
into love and presence.
Being born in a so-called developing country meant a more restrictive conditioning:
my dream world was more traditional and old than the one i found in the west.
But even if in the first world women have developed a so-called Women’s Liberation Movement, this movement is far from giving back women their freedom and dignity
because it has mainly been a reaction against men and not a conscious action; it has made women become masculine in a vain attempt to be free, losing their femininity instead of regaining themselves, becoming what Osho calls a second-class men …
Instead of becoming truly free, we seem to have sacrificed our feminine energy in the name of freedom. In my student days in Paris i passed through this “dis-ease” also.
Now, after 27 years in the world of Osho, i am finding through the therapies based on meditation and meditation itself, what i had been looking for : a true feminine power.
In this healing journey i have encountered all the dark sides of the moon: anger, pain, fear, attachment, possessiveness, jealousy, despair, being lost… and i have found myself returning to my real self before i was conditioned by the vested interests of the male mind.
I see how I – We, Women- have been maintaining and supporting these imposed roles.
I have taken responsibility for my own healing, by clearing “my” unconscious female mind, instead of focusing on the other, try to change, blame and condemn the other, or adjust and compromise.
Clearing my unconscious has created a new, fresh space, a new kind of relating, a new world and a new way of living for me. Transforming the sleeping beauty, waking up to a new consciousness as a free individual, living from my inner centre without fear, guilt or remorse, without attachments and demands, expectations and recriminations, or compromises and adjustments.
Just being myself. Staying in the truth of my heart moment to moment.
The energy invested in the conditioned female mind with all its dreams and dramas is turning into celebration, creativity and a sweet silence.
As i watch this new space emerge from the old ashes, like a phoenix being reborn …i wonder how did i live before, words can not express this wonderful feeling …all i can do is dance!
I am sharing now, especially with women on the path, what I have understood and experienced so far. And while sharing i keep on healing, enjoying the journey back to myself.
In my new world without dreams, without fog, i can see and relate to other woman as mirrors of my own beauty, as friends not as rivals, as sisters on the path of love and freedom. From goddess to goddess. From Buddha to Buddha. With us the return of the goddess is happening.
I can see and relate to man as friends and fellow travelers instead of objects of an unattainable dream, they become real as i become real, the woman in me- my inner woman-the anima- enjoys and welcomes the man in me-my inner man-the animus.
Therefore, i am attracting in my world a new kind of man and male energy, also a more conscious, unconditioned, responsible free soul.
By taking the responsibility to free “my” unconscious female mind from this conditioning,
i am creating the space to receive and attract in my world a male supportive force, instead
of an aggressive force from which I have to defend or compete with or seduce.
As games fall, masks fall, i see a real original face emerging, the real feminine power.
The power of water, the power of love, the power of softness, vulnerability and surrender.
I feel more open, vulnerable, tender and feminine, i do not have to make up to appear beautiful to the other, to the world. I feel a beauty from the inside regardless of age and time, a beauty that prevails, the beauty of acceptance and relaxation, the beauty of silence, joy
and peace. A true feminine beauty.
The inner beauty, the grace and dignity of being myself reflects in my outer world, the world
i consciously create. I feel at the same time response-able for the world i create around me yet able to surrender to my destiny, to existence…
Basically i am more able to receive and let-go, to trust, using my feminine nature to fall in,
instead of falling out, to fall in silence and rise in love. Today this is my true power.
I am not afraid anymore of feeling, of receiving and disappearing whether it happens through the space of love or in meditation, in fact i am experiencing that it is the same space.
I feel that for the first time freedom and love are happening together, my inner male and female energies are beginning to merge, to support and respect each other, this reflects in the way i relate now, especially with man.
We begin to see and love each other as we are, daring to be a woman, daring to be a man, honoring and respecting our true nature, meeting with awareness, in love and freedom,
with respect and gratefulness. IN ESSENCE.
YES, Love is becoming for me now freedom, devotion, prayer !
freed from what Osho calls : “ the need to be needed”
I feel the joy of being centered in my own heart,
connected to my own source of energy,
to my belly and hara, to my true feminine power.
Realizing that the meaning and significance of my life comes from the inside, allows me to come out into the open air, without fear as i know how to take care of myself, how to set boundaries, how to receive and let go, how to surrender, open and be total in the moment, losing myself in the ecstatic dance of love, yet not abandoning and forgetting myself, remaining centered, in the space of self respect, dignity and responsibility.
Now i feel i can share for the first time without the fear of being hurt or abandoned,
as i know i can not abandon myself. How can i ?
I have just found myself again
I am realizing the beauty and the gift
of being a woman
A woman in love
In love with life.
“The woman attains to Meditation through love,
she has known Meditation only through love,
she is saturated with love,
for her the name for Meditation is love, prayer “
“When you remove passion and attachment from love,
when your love is pure, innocent, formless,
when you give in love and don’t demand,
when love is only a giving,
when love is an emperor, not a beggar;
when you are happy because someone has accepted your love
and you don’t trade love, you ask nothing in return,
then you are liberating this bird of love into the open sky,
then you are strengthening its wings,
then this bird can set out on the journey to the infinite.
Love has made people fall and love has made people rise high,
It all depends on what you have done with love,
so love has to be freed from attachment,
love has not to become a bondage,
love should be a freedom,
free the person you love.
if you free the person you love,
then you yourself can not be enslaved,
then nobody can enslave you.
but you want to enslave the people you love,
you want to create a wall around them,
you want to put chains on their hands,
but if you put chains on their hands,
then they will als0 put chains on your hands, never forget this truth:
whatever you receive from life is what you have given to life”
quotes from the book: “Showering Without Clouds”
reflections on the poetry of an enlightened woman –Sahajo-
“My whole life has been devoted only to one single program:
how to bring love and meditation together,
because only through that meeting, a new humanity is possible
and only in the meeting of love and meditation,
the duality of men and woman,
the inequality of men and woman can disappear.”